Oooh you said the L word!! Yep I sure did! Love, love, love, love!
Growing up I had a fear of the L word. This wasn’t always the case, it developed over time due to a myriad of reasons. I thought it was uncool and strange to use it mostly because when I did say it people would look at me weirdly, reluctantly or rarely say it back and after my parents divorce I didn’t even think love could be real – despite the fact that I wanted to find someone to love and love me so badly.
This idea of what love is then became a fairy tale, the holy grail and eventually unattainable, I avoided anything that had love hearts on it – clothes, jewellery, home décor items etc because people may think I am a lovey dovey fairy princess and not talk to me, judge me and think I am silly.
Why is it so hard for us to use the L word, in fact I am going to just say it… Love.
Here are some reasons.
Rejection – Looking silly – Getting it wrong – Getting hurt – Doubt – Fear and so many more I can list.
These reasons have all come from our past experiences, the way our relationships turned out, the way we talk and deal with our family and friends and the way we have been treated.
Love comes in so many different forms. I love my family, I love my friends, I love chocolate, I love to go on adventures, I will absolutely love my partner. Yet we put love on this pedestal like it is something you can’t say or even feel. It seems as though it has to be that special kind of mutual romantically-intimate special kind of love in order for us to feel it or even say it. As kids we get to an age where we won’t hug or kiss our parents goodbye if someone can see us.
Language is a very powerful thing, and if we spoke more positively we would feel happier and more confident and start to feel and believe the positive things we say. I am not suggesting just saying it for the sake of saying it, it can still be special when we say it because we mean it. We complain often about people and judge and ridicule all the time that I believe if we change our mentality to be positive, we will not only feel more positive, we will attract more positive things into our lives and start spreading the positivity all around us.
Love has been put so high on this pedestal that we can’t even say I love you to our friends, our family and often our partner – It really shouldn’t be so hard to say this when we do love someone right? Despite what they have done to hurt us we still love them but yet we refrain from sharing this. I think it is selfish personally and we should be more open and honest.
I love all of the people in my life, family and friends, they are wonderful, supportive, caring, kind, happy and so many more things. I enjoy letting them know how much I appreciate them and often send a message randomly to say this. Recently I hugged one of my very good friends goodbye and I said “Thank you for coming over and helping me I love you lots.”
Her reaction, like many others, was unsure, reserved and shy. I often get that reaction and after talking with her we uncovered that she felt the word love was only for family and your partner and that it seemed unusual to hear it from any one else. I believe this stems from society and the way in which we have treated it. We have made it this exclusive emotion for our relatives or romantic partners. We have created this situation where it is only experienced in a fairytale or and in turn we aren’t using it for all the other people we truly love and they aren’t feeling the true beauty of love in all forms, from all kinds of people.
I believe if we shared this more often we wouldn’t have as much unhappiness and judgment in the world. We would be more open to hear and say “I love you” which would create patience when finding “the one” as we would be surrounded with so much love we don’t need just someone or anyone to be our partner to fill the void, I also believe it will lessen the blow if the relationship ends. We are putting all our eggs in one basket when it comes to love, so when the eggs leave or break, we feel empty.
Spread the love, tell the people you appreciate that you love them.. If you are grateful for them that has got to be a form of love, right?
Don’t worry about overusing the word, as it isn’t used enough. I promise it wont’ take the special feeling away from your forever person if you are saying I love you to all those who deserve it and that you truly love and appreciate, it will in fact, make it more special as it will create comfort and we will feel safe and happy to say it without any expectations of hearing it in return. When we say I love you, we shouldn’t expect anything in return other than to spread love and make someone else smile and feel important.
Which brings me to the age old question, who says I love you first? Does he or does she?
I want to ask you, in the grand scheme of things, does it actually really even matter? If you love someone – TELL THEM – Tell them today. With no expectations of hearing it back, no fear of the result or outcome. Sharing love is special and should be about them, not getting anything in return. So make that your new goal – to spread and share the love regardless of what you get back verbally, because I guarantee, what you get back emotionally through selflessly sharing love has a far greater affect on you and humanity.
So thank you for reading this I truly love your support and I hope you feel inspired to share the love with someone special xo.